He is drunk, and I'm in the middle of nowhere, I guess I'm stupid for blogging about african politics while living with white trash, but my main dilemma is my freaking hard drives ...
And about getting out of here.. theres no taxi service, this was just strategicly not well thought out.
SO VERY INSPIRING THOUGH! - THEY SAY HIP HOP CAUSES VIOLENCE, BUT WHITE MEDIA CAUSES RACISM
REAL LIFE LESSONS IN WHAT THEY MEAN WHEN THEY SAY 'IM NOT RACIST' BUT WANT TO ARGUE, EMOTIONALLY, OVER IF IT EXISTS OR NOT AND ITS EXTENT - LEAVE THESE PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE
I went in to make a sandwich, he had locked the doors ... I came in and he says something about how it feels,
I'm like you locked the doors?? He goes on the usual schizophrenic rant about various items of my behavior that displease him, a barrage really, I'm like, wait, what? Who knows what I said ... anything less than go to hell cracker wouldn't have been appropriate though .. he pulls his small gun out, first, or flashes it, I'm like, yea, shoot me bitch .. I didnt say it, but I'm not particularly afraid of his ignorance, so I didn't really pay attention to his aggression.
The fundamental argument we have is over me telling him to clean up his life, and that he could be better, but in reality my approach has been 'you don't think life has a purpose?' - to which he argues violently, no. we are just dirt.
While at times he has admitted that he'd like to drink less, I am pretty positive that his wife not only 'drives' him to drink like he thinks, but supports his drinking, because in that way, she gets to have control of him.
So behind his anger is a very petty woman, resigned to taking psych meds and watching TV and playing iPad games as a lifestyle, never cleaning anything, stepping over trash, and arguing for her right to die like that. Yes, die, she repeatedly vocalizes how she will take kolonopin for the rest of her life.
Anyway, I guess if I died tonight, anyone reading this site might gain greater insight into the tentacles of the approaches of destruction against our people, and beyond that, I dont really give a fuck.
Hes probably passed out now, will wake up tommorow and either forget, or vaguely remember and half-heartedly try and apologize, or realize that that was way out of line, and stop drinking immediately and offer me ... lol some bulls and some whiskey.
-- You should be able to tell that I'm not as unprovoking and innocent as I may seem, issues of how I approached him with the things I was learning, talked about how he lived, are all matters of perspective, but the greatest issue is ... really, a gun? On your friend of 10+ years? Who is unarmed and not physically provoking you? And is black? And you're white? And "they'll never find you <shit grin>" when I told him he'd just go to jail if he actually shot me..
%100 sure that it is a matter of conditioning. And 12+ hours of TV a day will do that to you.
-- Mostly posted in case he shot me, I'm still here, havn't seen him at all